Don’t Appear to be Desperate: 7 Tips to Capture New Friends

Moving to a new city and be scary and lonely. Here are some suggestions to help you get started in trapping meeting new friends! So here you go:

7 Tips to Capture New Friends:

1. Don’t appear to be desperate. I know that after months of only speaking to small people and one man you might feel giddy at the site of a potential friend but hold yourself back! Refrain from phrases such as : “I’ve found you! I’ve found YOU!” or “Where have you been all my life!?” And “Do you like me? Because I LIKE YOU!” These phrases will come across as needy and bizarre to someone who’s not starved for coffee dates and book clubs.

2. Try to look presentable for once. Being enclosed at home 7 days a week with tiny monsters can sometimes have negative effects on your appearance. Please remember that yoga pants and food-stained, crusty t-shirts do not qualify as appropriate attire when you go out to meet new friends. Take a look in the mirror and, for goodness sake, take a shower! Simple hygiene practices can do a world of good to increase your chances of meeting some best buds. And as my mama always said, “If the barn needs painting- paint it.”

3. Observe appropriate social cues. These cues are varied and sometimes hard to manage all at once but here are a few that have been helpful:

• No more phone calls. People don’t call to chat anymore so don’t end your get-together with, “Ok, I’ll give you a call in a few days!” Texting is where it’s at.
• Facebooking is ok if they send you a request first. If not, wait 3 days to send yours.
• If they accept your request wait another three days to message them. (See Tip #1.) If they don’t accept your friend request please consider this a rejection and do not start stalking them.
• Keep yourself calm and collected (at least on the outside) when new people approach you. Jumping up and down and randomly hugging strangers is not ok.

4. Be on time. If you happen to score a coffee date, group outing, or book club membership please be on time to all events. I know it can be distracting when you are picking out exactly what you are going to wear and how you are going to fix your hair, but don’t lose track of the time! Plus, if you don’t know the area very well, you’ll need to give yourself extra time for when you get lost. Text if you are going to be late (not while driving, of course). Bringing a bottle of wine is an acceptable way to apologize.

5. Don’t be THAT friend. We’ve all been there and done one of these terribly awkward social faux pas but here are some of them listed out so that you can avoid them:

• Nervous mumbling and whispered answers to questions. People have to hear your voice to be able to have a conversation!
• Conversely, yelling and cackling about normal, everyday occurrences. You might end up scaring your potential friends away by your voice immodulation.
• Constantly one-upping the other person. This is tricky because when done well it can aid in conversation flow but usually when you are new to a group you tend to be too nervous to do this smoothly. Avoid one-upping at all costs.
• Bragging. Whether bragging about how awesome your small monsters are or how great of a job you landed to move to this city refrain from bragging it all to your potential friends. It might intimidate them and make them hate you.

6. Be friendly but not too friendly. Respect people’s natural boundaries. A polite handshake or nod of the head is ok but vigorously shaking/clutching someone’s arm will be too much. Most people are not immediate huggers. Coming at them with your arms stretched out and a leering grin might cause a fight or flight reaction.

7. Do not resort to bribery. I know its been a long time since you’ve had a girl’s night or any social interaction, really, but do not lower yourself to buying friends. If you have to bribe someone to be your friend using money, promised baked goods, or your ridiculous good looks they aren’t worth the trouble. True potential friends will love you for who you are; no more or less.

Wait, who am I kidding? Bribe away and good luck! 😉

Disney Trip

Growing up I always wanted to go to Disney World (didn’t every child?) and this past weekend I got to go!

Jonathan and I went down to Orlando, FL on a work/fun trip!  It was the first work related trip I’ve been able to go on and it was a blast!  Jonathan was working the Night of Joy at Disney so we were able to stay right on park property.  Our hotel was the Grand Floridian and it was beautiful!  Probably the most fun was seeing old friends and catching up with them.  I think I’ve known the R. girl’s for about 8 years or so and now they are married and have lives of their own….ah time flies!

We were given some park hopper passes which enabled us to visit about 3 parks in time we stayed there.  We first went to Magic Kingdom to Night of Joy.  The sights and sounds were incredible.  My friends C. and D. went with me (Jonathan was working) and we took turns riding rides and watching the kids.  Amusement parks are a different experience with children- ha!  I think my favorite ride that night was Thunder Mountain.  I really enjoy roller coasters- although I will admit every time I get nervous just before riding.   Of course I rode Splash Mountain as well, but the line was just too long for Space Mountain.  Besides, Ember was getting a little grumpy as it was almost midnight!

I think about a million youth groups attended Night of Joy as well…and that made my first Disney experience…unique to say the least!  Waiting in line people would start clapping and chanting “Jesus!  Jesus!” and high fiving.  Now, I’m not against high fives but slapping hand with a hundred sweaty teenagers…?…no thank you!

The following day we spent a few hours relaxing and went swimming.  Then we headed out to concur more parks.

Next was Hollywood Studios where we rode the Tower of Terror and the Rock and Rollercoaster- which I loved!  Next we went to Epcot and I really enjoyed walking through the World section with all of the different countries!

I think seeing all the diverse architecture and smelling the different foods only made me want to travel more!  I haven’t been outside the U.S. in 4 years and I’m itching to go somewhere!  I’m pretty sure we are going to have to wait till our kiddos are a bit older, though!  And that is ok!  🙂

I can’t remember the name of my favorite ride at Epcot but it was the Space Simulator.  That was really cool and thankfully the lady didn’t puke in our row…even though she looked rather green at the end and kept saying, “Oh no…”  haha…

Anyway, it was a fun filled adventurous trip!  Well worth the sweating, aching feet and exhaustion!  I’m so thankful for my man who wants to take me with him on trips…it really makes me feel special!

  

To the One Who Hears

-A Prayer for Those Close to Me-

 

For my friends who mouth prayers too deep to utter, like Hannah, may you fill their arms with children.

For my little friend who struggles to stand and take steps, like Mephibosheth, may he always eat from Your table as an honored guest.

For my friend who lacks confidence and second guesses himself continually, like Gideon, grant him great victory in his endeavors.

For my friend who is continually ill may she, like Miriam, be wholly healed and brought back into her life refreshed and well.

For my friends who are lonely and yearn for love, like Rebekah and Ruth, may you provide their Issac and Boaz.

For my friends who have been abused and taken advantage of by the wicked, like Tamar, they must be avenged- be their Protector.

For my friend who wields his pen as a sword, like Joshua, help him to conquer the towering walls.

For my friend who cares for others, like Jael, may she drive a spike through and defeat wickedness and injustice.

For my friend the leader, like Moses, may he usher forth Your Word-  like streams from the rock.

For my friends who have lost their children, like David, may they rise, wash, worship and be comforted.

For my friend whose life is not going the way she planned, like Joseph, may the evil be meant for good.

For my friend whose heart is breaking, like Sarah, may she believe in Things to Come.

For my friend who is embittered and hardened, like Jonah, may he find his ‘whale.’

For my Children, may they be like Samuel- Hearing the voice of the Lord and be unafraid to answer.

For my Husband, may he be like David and have a heart continually striving for You.